One of the things I somewhat promised myself when I started this blog was I wasn’t going to talk about my personal life in depth too much. I realize that in order for people to connect to you, they need to get to know you. All of you. Your opinions, your views, your struggles, your triumphs and definitely your losses.
Today has been full of ups but I have with out a doubt hit a low today.
Even though things end do we ever truly let them go? Do we really get over someone that we cared so much about for so long? I honestly don’t think we do. I fully believe that once someone makes their way into our hearts that they leave an invisible mark on your heart that never goes away, especially the ones that you care the most about. Don’t think for a second that this has happened with every single person that has walked in and then out of my life because it hasn’t. But today I am in a funk.
It still stings so many years later and I don’t completely understand it. And when I say years, I mean YEARS, like over 5. Don’t get me wrong, I know why today hurts more than usually but that’s for me to know. What I want to know is how to truly let go? I don’t need this in my life anymore. I don’t need to feel so sad that things aren’t the same anymore. I completely agree with the idea that “everything happens for a reason” and I honestly don’t need to know the reason. I need this to be done.
I need the pain and sting to go away. I need not to think of that person anymore. I need my heart to catch up with my head and life in general because they are obviously not coming back and it’s enough. But why can’t we ever truly let go of some people? It feels that sometimes there is just a tiniest of hooks pulling me back at times. It is a difficult thing to deal with.
Even writing this, I am second guessing myself about putting it out in the universe because I know than it will really be over. But it is time. I am tried of feeling this way and thinking “maybe one day.” Maybe one day will drive you insane. What you need to do it purge yourself from the whole situation and that you truly do need to let go. I hope that after putting this out into the universe I can forget and move one completely.
Time to let go. Universe please please please help me to heal and forget. The pain is too much. I need to let go of the hope of one day.
– ♥ Lindsey